This last week has had it's ups and downs but I count it all blessing because in it God is teaching me each day how to love. Mike and I have been reading our devotional more regularly this last week and have been attending church together (when work doesn't interfere). Last week we even let Sarah go in the childrens room for 2 year olds during the service and we got to sit next to each other. And while the service was meaty and addressed the issue of financial stewardship, I was so blessed to be able to actually sit next to my husband that I felt like we were out on a date! I thoroughly enjoyed church and when we left church that day I could tell that God had touched my husbands heart on the subject of tithing and obeying God's word and order as he made the decision then and there that we have not been doing our part and that it is time for a change in this area.
There is so much that has changed in the last month, we have lost 1/2 of our income when I quit my job, but we gained so much more than money can buy. Both Mike and I have felt a strong draw from the Lord to make Him first in our lives again and to follow his order in all area's of our lives. Does this mean that we know what we are doing? Absolutely not. But I know that God will show us the path each moment as we seek Him and ask Him each day what he wants us to be doing.
One area God is working with me on is being a wife after God's heart. There are so many things that a wife has to do in a day but I so desperately want to be the wife that God sees in me. I want to love my husband in ways that only God can. I mentioned in last weeks blog that I have been reading "The power of a praying wife" and I am learning that while taking care of the home, preparing meals and taking care of the children are all daily chores and responsibilities they are some of the ways that I can show love to my husband. I was also chastened in the area of my health in my reading and studies last week. The idea that we are to keep ourselves attractive for our spouse is something that I never considered in the past and I over the years have allowed my health and body to go down hill. I have for a long time wanted to lose weight and be healthy but never have I felt that this was a command from God until this week when He touched my heart with it.
This weeks goal for me is to continue to spend time in the word and in prayer each day and to follow God's lead as he directs me. I have faith that God will show me how to live and what changes I need to make as I continue to seek Him each day.
I will end this weeks post in prayer.
I pray Lord, that you will change me, make me the wife and woman you see in me, please bless my husband and continue to work in his heart. I thank you God for the church you have lead us to and pray that you would continue to work through Pastor Grant each week as Your word is poured out to the people, bless Pastor Grant this week as you see fit and help him to recover quickly from the flu. I thank you Lord for the blessings you have given us, for the job you have provided for Michael, for the children you have blessed our home with and ask that you fill our hearts with love for one another. Lead me oh Lord to live as you desire and make me a usable vessel for your hand to guide. Let your light shine through to touch the lives of the people around me. In Jesus name, Amen.
Monday, March 01, 2010
Saturday, February 20, 2010
Devotional time .... week one
A week has flown by and Michael and I have only read up to day 3 in our devotional. It seems that setting aside time to spend together in prayer and devotion to God is more challenging than I would have thought. Having not been diligent over the years in setting aside time to spend with God each day as a couple this is not second hand to us, but I am sure with time and persistence, eventually it will be.
This week I prayed that God would teach me what love is and to make me a more loving person. I don't feel like any great change has occurred inside but know that God is faithful to hear our prayers and will answer them in His time and as He sees fit. I find that love is a choice and one that we choose each day, moment by moment in what ever circumstances I may find myself in.
Thankfully those circumstances this week are not huge but even overcoming something as simple as choosing to submit to something my husband has asked of me because I chose to show him love instead of becoming frustrated or angry can be a challenge. And even now as I write I cannot even remember what it was he had asked of me that made that a challenge. I just know that there was a time this week when Michael asked me to do something and I looked at him wanting to say "Why don't you do it yourself?" and instead of giving into that feeling and line of thought chose instead to say "Sure, I can do that." and let go of what ever it was rising up in me that would have done nothing but create a rift in us at that moment. Not only out of submissiveness to him but to God and God's order, I was reminded that I show God's love to Michael through how I treat and respond to him and that when I honor God's order in our home then He will work that same love in my heart.
I have also in my personal time started to read "The Power of a Praying Wife" as well. There was a time when I prayed multiple times a day and felt that I was called to intercessory prayer. But over time I have allowed anger and unhealed hurts to cloud my heart, as that happened I prayed less and less each day. Now I feel as if I have to begin my walk all over again in some area's and prayer is one of them. I am reminding myself of the power prayer has and all the reasons that prayer is important in my life by beginning with praying for my husband, our marriage and personal walks with God. I know from experience that if my prayer life is in order, God will be able to meet me and use me more. This has also be a challenge this week for me to maintain.
If I am completely honest, which is the whole point of this blog, I admit that I have allowed the day to day responsibilities to come before time with God. This next week, I am setting a goal to have 30 min. a day of quiet time with the Lord. Whether that time is first thing in the morning, during Sarah's nap or in the evening before bed is not the issue. Just that I do it.
Until next time...
God BlessYou
This week I prayed that God would teach me what love is and to make me a more loving person. I don't feel like any great change has occurred inside but know that God is faithful to hear our prayers and will answer them in His time and as He sees fit. I find that love is a choice and one that we choose each day, moment by moment in what ever circumstances I may find myself in.
Thankfully those circumstances this week are not huge but even overcoming something as simple as choosing to submit to something my husband has asked of me because I chose to show him love instead of becoming frustrated or angry can be a challenge. And even now as I write I cannot even remember what it was he had asked of me that made that a challenge. I just know that there was a time this week when Michael asked me to do something and I looked at him wanting to say "Why don't you do it yourself?" and instead of giving into that feeling and line of thought chose instead to say "Sure, I can do that." and let go of what ever it was rising up in me that would have done nothing but create a rift in us at that moment. Not only out of submissiveness to him but to God and God's order, I was reminded that I show God's love to Michael through how I treat and respond to him and that when I honor God's order in our home then He will work that same love in my heart.
I have also in my personal time started to read "The Power of a Praying Wife" as well. There was a time when I prayed multiple times a day and felt that I was called to intercessory prayer. But over time I have allowed anger and unhealed hurts to cloud my heart, as that happened I prayed less and less each day. Now I feel as if I have to begin my walk all over again in some area's and prayer is one of them. I am reminding myself of the power prayer has and all the reasons that prayer is important in my life by beginning with praying for my husband, our marriage and personal walks with God. I know from experience that if my prayer life is in order, God will be able to meet me and use me more. This has also be a challenge this week for me to maintain.
If I am completely honest, which is the whole point of this blog, I admit that I have allowed the day to day responsibilities to come before time with God. This next week, I am setting a goal to have 30 min. a day of quiet time with the Lord. Whether that time is first thing in the morning, during Sarah's nap or in the evening before bed is not the issue. Just that I do it.
Until next time...
God BlessYou
Monday, February 15, 2010
The Love Dare...
For many years I have known that it is important to spend quite time before the Lord each day, and I have not always and even in the last few years have often not spent any quite time before God or even seeking Him regularly. However, I know that God has never left me and has always pulled at my heart to seek him, I have felt this especially strong in the last few weeks and know it is time to refocus.
This last week my husband surprised me by purchasing a marriage devotional bible. I was extremely surprised, for a long time I had desired to have quiet time with my husband spending time seeking God's truth, but he has never expressed any interest in doing this together, so eventually I gave up hoping.
We began with reading the preface in the bible that explains the different positions in a family, "The Family Manifesto" , which was put in before the word of the bible actually begins. While reading this we realized that we have no idea how to do a devotional together. Spending time reading the bible and in prayer together is not something we have really done much of, it has always been individually. So, where do we start?
The Family Christian Book store is where we decided to start. We went in search of a devotional plan for couples and found a book called "The Love Dare". A year of devotions for couples. So we bought it and brought it home, in the beginning of the book it recommends that you keep a journal of this "journey". We have decided to share a journal, to put our prayers, feelings and experiences into this one journal so we can each share with the other as we go through this new beginning and hopefully continue as we move on in our relationship with both God and in our marriage. This journal is to be a safe honest place before God, where we can share anything. Michael and I have agreed that if this is going to work there can be no judgement or condemnation for anything that may be shared in the journal and we will face the issues together. I know there will be times when this may be a challenge but it is important the we both feel free to share anything even feelings we have about each other when it may hurt.
We have been married for 13 1/2 years, and for the first time I feel that we are both feeling the draw on our hearts to be closer to each other and to our Lord God. I have renewed my commitment to the Lord that I will spend time in the word and in prayer each day whether Michael joins me or not and will be journaling my experiences here in this blog. It is my hope that God share my experiences to help someone else, that I come to a place in life where is love is reflected and he can use me as an example to touch other women, wives, and mothers.
I know that right now this blog reaches very few people and aside from my husband there I have only one friend who reads it, but if God has a use for it, he will be able to lead someone to it.
May God Bless you!
This last week my husband surprised me by purchasing a marriage devotional bible. I was extremely surprised, for a long time I had desired to have quiet time with my husband spending time seeking God's truth, but he has never expressed any interest in doing this together, so eventually I gave up hoping.
We began with reading the preface in the bible that explains the different positions in a family, "The Family Manifesto" , which was put in before the word of the bible actually begins. While reading this we realized that we have no idea how to do a devotional together. Spending time reading the bible and in prayer together is not something we have really done much of, it has always been individually. So, where do we start?
The Family Christian Book store is where we decided to start. We went in search of a devotional plan for couples and found a book called "The Love Dare". A year of devotions for couples. So we bought it and brought it home, in the beginning of the book it recommends that you keep a journal of this "journey". We have decided to share a journal, to put our prayers, feelings and experiences into this one journal so we can each share with the other as we go through this new beginning and hopefully continue as we move on in our relationship with both God and in our marriage. This journal is to be a safe honest place before God, where we can share anything. Michael and I have agreed that if this is going to work there can be no judgement or condemnation for anything that may be shared in the journal and we will face the issues together. I know there will be times when this may be a challenge but it is important the we both feel free to share anything even feelings we have about each other when it may hurt.
We have been married for 13 1/2 years, and for the first time I feel that we are both feeling the draw on our hearts to be closer to each other and to our Lord God. I have renewed my commitment to the Lord that I will spend time in the word and in prayer each day whether Michael joins me or not and will be journaling my experiences here in this blog. It is my hope that God share my experiences to help someone else, that I come to a place in life where is love is reflected and he can use me as an example to touch other women, wives, and mothers.
I know that right now this blog reaches very few people and aside from my husband there I have only one friend who reads it, but if God has a use for it, he will be able to lead someone to it.
May God Bless you!
Thursday, January 28, 2010
Honoring God by loving my husband...
I am now a full time homemaker and want nothing more than to honor God's order and show my husband how much I love and appreciate him and the work that he does. Each day I wake early and make breakfast for my husband and three children, start the laundry, help the kids get ready for their day's and once the older kids are off to school and my husband off to work I clean my home, bake fresh snacks and cook homemade meals for the family. So, why is it that people in the world see this and assume that my husband is some how demanding too much or treating me poorly by putting expectations on me?
Just yesterday I was sharing with my mother how much I have accomplished in the home since I have quit my job and her response was "I don't like the way your husband treats you", meaning he expects too much. We clearly have differing perspectives on this subject. I feel it is an honor to serve my husband and family in this manner. My husband provides for the family by working out of the home, my contribution is to work in the home. By submitting unto my husbands requests I bring honor to God.
If I am truly honest it has been a long time since I have felt like I have been living a life that brings honor to God. I have been so caught up in the chaos of everyday life that I have not taken the time or even given any effort into bringing honor to God and in return honoring my husband and myself. Over the last couple of years I have felt like I lost myself. I have a calling on my life to serve and honor God, a calling which I have ignored for the past several years, but I feel now that I can no longer ignore God and serving him starts with serving my husband. It may not always be easy to do, but I feel that this is my place in life. By serving my husband and keeping myself submissive to God, God is able to teach me and help me to grow spiritually, which reflects on every part of my life.
Showing honor and love to my husband, myself, and my children by serving God in this capacity is a choice. A choice that I choose each day, moment by moment. It is not a burden. It is not my husband expecting too much from me. It is not unreasonable to want to serve in this capacity. Love is a choice, one that you choose to show by your actions each day, moment by moment.
May the Lord God Bless you and keep you, continuing to show each of us His love by teaching us how to live for Him daily.
Just yesterday I was sharing with my mother how much I have accomplished in the home since I have quit my job and her response was "I don't like the way your husband treats you", meaning he expects too much. We clearly have differing perspectives on this subject. I feel it is an honor to serve my husband and family in this manner. My husband provides for the family by working out of the home, my contribution is to work in the home. By submitting unto my husbands requests I bring honor to God.
If I am truly honest it has been a long time since I have felt like I have been living a life that brings honor to God. I have been so caught up in the chaos of everyday life that I have not taken the time or even given any effort into bringing honor to God and in return honoring my husband and myself. Over the last couple of years I have felt like I lost myself. I have a calling on my life to serve and honor God, a calling which I have ignored for the past several years, but I feel now that I can no longer ignore God and serving him starts with serving my husband. It may not always be easy to do, but I feel that this is my place in life. By serving my husband and keeping myself submissive to God, God is able to teach me and help me to grow spiritually, which reflects on every part of my life.
Showing honor and love to my husband, myself, and my children by serving God in this capacity is a choice. A choice that I choose each day, moment by moment. It is not a burden. It is not my husband expecting too much from me. It is not unreasonable to want to serve in this capacity. Love is a choice, one that you choose to show by your actions each day, moment by moment.
May the Lord God Bless you and keep you, continuing to show each of us His love by teaching us how to live for Him daily.
Monday, January 25, 2010
A new page in life...
So, I couldn't wait another 15 work days to be home with my family, so I turned in my keys today and called it quits. I feel like a huge burden has been lifted from my shoulders. My baby is still sick, but knowing that I don't have to leave her while I go to work gives me great peace.
Today, my first day back as a full time homemaker I have successfully managed to do the laundry, make fresh bread, a great pot of chicken stew for dinner and spend time cuddling my baby girl. My husband came home to a clean kitchen and the smell of fresh laundry. I feel like me again for the first time in a long time, tired, but finally myself again.
Tomorrow both my older children will be at school and I will be home alone with my toddler and then the adventure truly begin's. Here is to great new beginnings!
Today, my first day back as a full time homemaker I have successfully managed to do the laundry, make fresh bread, a great pot of chicken stew for dinner and spend time cuddling my baby girl. My husband came home to a clean kitchen and the smell of fresh laundry. I feel like me again for the first time in a long time, tired, but finally myself again.
Tomorrow both my older children will be at school and I will be home alone with my toddler and then the adventure truly begin's. Here is to great new beginnings!
Sunday, January 24, 2010
Today being a mother consists of holding my toddler through 103 degree fever and horrible cough that I am sure hurts her chest... but the doctor say's it's just a virus and there is nothing they can do for her. My heart breaks a little each time she cries and will surely be broken tomorrow when I have to leave her to go to work. I stayed home on Friday to be with her and take her to the doctors office, but am sure after how much work I missed last week that staying home another day is not an option. Only 15 more days of work and then I can stay home with her for good. I am counting the days...
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